Networking Events: How to Get Value Without Being Awkward
You’re at a networking event. Everyone seems to know each other. You’re standing alone with a drink, checking your phone, pretending to be busy.
This is every introvert’s nightmare—and even extroverts struggle with it.
The problem: Most people approach networking events wrong. They either:
- Stand in the corner hoping someone talks to them (doesn’t work)
- Force conversations and hand out business cards like spam (annoying)
- Leave after 20 minutes feeling like they wasted their time
The solution: Networking isn’t about collecting contacts. It’s about building relationships—one genuine conversation at a time.
This guide will show you:
- How to prepare (before you even arrive)
- How to start conversations (without being awkward)
- What to talk about (beyond “what do you do?”)
- How to follow up (turn conversations into relationships)
Before the Event: Preparation Wins
Step 1: Research the Event
Find out:
- Who’s attending (speaker list, RSVP list if available)
- What companies will be represented
- Event format (mingling, presentations, workshops)
- Dress code
Where to find this:
- Eventbrite/Meetup page
- LinkedIn event (see who’s registered)
- Event website
- Ask organizers
Why it matters: You can identify 3-5 specific people you want to meet.
Step 2: Set a Goal
Bad goal: “Network with everyone” Good goal: “Have 3 quality conversations and get 2 follow-up coffees”
Realistic targets:
- Small event (20-50 people): 3-5 conversations
- Medium event (50-200 people): 5-8 conversations
- Large conference (200+ people): 8-12 conversations
Quality > Quantity: One deep conversation beats 10 shallow ones.
Step 3: Prepare Your Introduction (30 Seconds)
Bad intro: “I’m John, I’m looking for a job.” Good intro: “I’m John, I’m a web developer who specializes in helping startups build MVPs. I’m exploring opportunities in fintech.”
Formula:
- Name
- What you do (or want to do)
- Specific detail (makes you memorable)
- What you’re looking for (optional)
Practice it 5 times out loud.
Step 4: Prepare Conversation Starters
Have 3-5 ready:
- “What brings you to this event?”
- “Are you working on anything interesting lately?”
- “How did you get into [their field]?”
- “What’s been your biggest challenge this year?”
Avoid: “What do you do?” (Everyone asks this—be different)
Step 5: What to Bring
Essentials:
- Business cards (if you have them—not required)
- Phone (for contact exchange)
- Notebook and pen (shows you’re serious)
- Breath mints
- Positive energy
Leave at home:
- Huge bag or backpack
- Strong cologne/perfume
- Negative attitude
Arriving: First 15 Minutes Matter
Strategy 1: Arrive Early (Best for Introverts)
Why:
- Fewer people (less overwhelming)
- Easier to start conversations (people are arriving one-by-one)
- You become a “regular” (you’re there when everyone else arrives)
What to do:
- Talk to organizers (instant connection)
- Chat with early arrivals (also probably introverts)
- Position yourself near entrance (greet people as they arrive)
Downside: Event may not start for 30+ minutes.
Strategy 2: Arrive “Fashionably Late” (15-30 Minutes)
Why:
- Event is in full swing (energy is high)
- Multiple conversations happening (easy to join)
- No awkward waiting around
What to do:
- Scan the room for small groups (2-3 people)
- Look for someone standing alone (they want to talk)
- Grab a drink first (gives you something to do with your hands)
Strategy 3: Arrive with a Friend (Training Wheels)
Why:
- Built-in safety (someone to talk to)
- Can introduce each other (doubles your reach)
- Less anxiety
What to do:
- Split up after 10-15 minutes
- Introduce each other to people you meet
- Regroup at the end
Warning: Don’t cling to each other all night (defeats the purpose).
Starting Conversations (Without Being Awkward)
Approach 1: Join an Existing Group
Look for:
- Groups of 3-4 (easier to join than pairs)
- Open body language (facing outward, not inward)
- Pauses in conversation (they’re between topics)
How to join:
- Approach with smile
- Make eye contact
- Wait for a pause
- Say: “Mind if I join you?”
They’ll ALWAYS say yes. Then introduce yourself.
Approach 2: Talk to Someone Alone
Who:
- Anyone standing by themselves
- Someone getting food/drink
- Someone looking at their phone (they’re probably uncomfortable too)
Opening line:
- “Hi, I’m [Name]. Are you here alone or waiting for someone?”
- “First time at this event? I’m trying to figure out how it works.”
- “Have you been to one of these before?”
Why it works: Solo people want to talk. You’re doing them a favor.
Approach 3: Ask a Question
Situational questions:
- “Do you know if there’s a schedule for tonight?”
- “Have you tried the food yet—any recommendations?”
- “I’m new here—how often do you come to these?”
Follow-up:
- They answer
- You introduce yourself
- Ask what brings them here
- Conversation starts naturally
Approach 4: The Direct Approach
For confident people:
- Walk up
- Smile
- Extend hand
- “Hi, I’m [Name]. What brings you here tonight?”
Works 90% of the time.
What to Talk About (Beyond “What Do You Do?”)
Questions That Create Connection
Instead of “What do you do?”:
- “What are you working on that you’re excited about?”
- “What got you interested in [industry/field]?”
- “If you could do anything, what would you be doing?”
Why these are better:
- More interesting answers
- People light up talking about passions
- You’re not just another networker
The 70/30 Rule
Listen 70%, talk 30%.
Why:
- People like talking about themselves
- You learn more by listening
- Makes YOU more memorable (ironically)
How:
- Ask open-ended questions
- Follow up on their answers
- “Tell me more about that…”
Topics That Work Well
✅ Recent projects/wins:
- “What’s been your favorite project lately?”
✅ Challenges:
- “What’s the hardest part of your role right now?”
✅ Industry trends:
- “How has [industry] changed in the past few years?”
✅ Advice:
- “If you could give one piece of advice to someone starting out, what would it be?”
✅ Recommendations:
- “Are there any books/podcasts/people you’d recommend?”
Topics to Avoid
❌ Politics ❌ Religion ❌ Money (salaries, how much things cost) ❌ Gossip about others ❌ Complaining extensively
Exception: Industry news (even if political) is usually fine if relevant.
How Long to Talk (And When to Move On)
The 7-15 Minute Rule
Ideal conversation length: 7-15 minutes
Why:
- Long enough to connect
- Short enough to meet multiple people
- Respects everyone’s time
How to know it’s time to move on:
- Conversation reaches a natural lull
- You’ve exchanged contact info
- You’ve been talking 15+ minutes
- They start looking around room
How to Exit Gracefully
Method 1: The Bathroom Excuse
“I need to grab another drink / use the restroom. It was great talking with you!”
Method 2: Introduce Them to Someone
“Have you met [Person]? Let me introduce you—I think you’d have a lot to talk about.”
Method 3: Direct (But Polite)
“I don’t want to monopolize your time—let’s exchange info and I’ll reach out. It was great meeting you!”
Method 4: Honesty
“I’m trying to meet a few people tonight, so I’m going to keep circulating. Let’s definitely stay in touch!”
They’ll appreciate your honesty.
Reading the Room (When to Talk, When to Listen)
Green Lights (They Want to Talk)
- Making eye contact
- Asking you questions
- Open body language (facing you, arms uncrossed)
- Laughing, smiling
- Offering to exchange contact info
Action: Continue conversation, go deeper.
Yellow Lights (Interest is Fading)
- Short answers (“yeah,” “cool,” “nice”)
- Looking around room
- Checking phone
- Body turned away slightly
Action: Wrap up gracefully in 1-2 minutes.
Red Lights (End It Now)
- “I need to go find someone”
- Looking desperate to leave
- One-word answers
- Stepped back physically
Action: Exit immediately, politely.
Exchanging Contact Info (Do It Right)
When to Exchange
Right time:
- After 7-10 minutes of good conversation
- When you’ve identified mutual interest/value
- Before wrapping up conversation
Wrong time:
- First 30 seconds (too eager)
- When conversation is dying (forced)
How to Ask
Direct:
“I’d love to stay in touch. Want to exchange contact info?”
With value:
“I’d love to send you that article I mentioned. What’s the best way to reach you?”
With future plans:
“We should continue this over coffee sometime. Can I get your number/email?”
What to Exchange
Best: Phone number or email (personal)
Good: LinkedIn connection (professional)
Avoid: Business card only (easy to lose, impersonal)
Pro tip: Text them immediately:
“Hey [Name], this is [Your Name] from the event. Great meeting you!”
Why: They have your contact, you’re top of mind.
Following Up (Most Important Part)
Within 24 Hours: The Personal Note
Email template:
Subject: Great meeting you at [Event Name]
Hi [Name],
It was great meeting you at [Event Name] last night. I really enjoyed our conversation about [specific topic you discussed].
[One sentence referencing something specific they said—shows you were listening]
I'd love to continue the conversation. Would you be open to grabbing coffee in the next week or two?
Let me know what works for your schedule!
[Your Name]Why it works:
- Specific (not a template)
- References conversation (shows you remember)
- Clear ask (coffee = next step)
1-2 Weeks: Coffee Meeting
The goal: Build relationship, learn more, add value.
NOT: Ask for job/favor immediately.
Meeting structure:
- 15 minutes: General conversation, catch up
- 15 minutes: Ask about their work/experience
- 5-10 minutes: Share what you’re working on
- 5 minutes: Identify ways to help each other
1-3 Months: Stay in Touch
How:
- Share relevant article: “Saw this and thought of you…”
- Comment on their LinkedIn posts
- Introduce them to someone useful
- Invite to another event
Frequency: Every 4-6 weeks (not too often, not radio silent).
Networking Events by Type
Industry Meetups (Best for Beginners)
Format: 20-50 people, casual, monthly
Pros:
- Smaller (less overwhelming)
- Regular attendees (easier to build relationships)
- Specific focus (everyone shares interest)
Strategy: Become a regular. Go monthly for 6 months.
Conferences (Best for Serious Networking)
Format: 100-1,000+ people, 1-3 days
Pros:
- High concentration of industry people
- Multiple sessions/workshops
- Out-of-town = people are more open
Strategy: Research speakers, attend their sessions, approach after.
Happy Hours / Socials (Easiest to Start)
Format: Bar/restaurant, casual
Pros:
- Low pressure
- Alcohol loosens people up
- Easy conversations
Strategy: Arrive early, talk to bartender first (instant conversation starter).
For Introverts: Survival Guide
Before Event
- Set low expectations (3 conversations = win)
- Bring an extroverted friend (initially)
- Plan escape route (know when you’ll leave)
During Event
- Aim for quality (1-2 deep conversations > 10 shallow)
- Take breaks (bathroom, outside, quiet corner)
- Focus on one-on-one (avoid large groups)
After Event
- Recharge (you’ll be exhausted—that’s normal)
- Follow up via email/text (easier than phone calls)
- Pick 1-2 people to stay in touch with (not everyone)
The secret: Introverts often build BETTER relationships because they listen more and go deeper.
Common Mistakes (And How to Fix Them)
Mistake 1: Staying Too Long in One Conversation
Fix: 10-15 minutes max. Excuse yourself politely.
Mistake 2: Only Talking to People You Already Know
Fix: Limit time with friends to 5-10 minutes, then separate.
Mistake 3: Not Following Up
Fix: Send follow-up email within 24 hours. No exceptions.
Mistake 4: Handing Out Business Cards to Everyone
Fix: Exchange cards only after meaningful conversation.
Mistake 5: Talking Only About Yourself
Fix: 70% listening, 30% talking.
Your Networking Event Action Plan
This Week:
- Find 1-2 upcoming networking events (Meetup, Eventbrite, LinkedIn)
- Register/RSVP
- Research who’s attending
- Prepare your 30-second intro
Day Before Event:
- Review attendee list
- Identify 3-5 people you want to meet
- Practice your intro out loud (5 times)
- Plan what you’ll wear
Day of Event:
- Arrive (early or fashionably late—your choice)
- Set goal (3-5 quality conversations)
- Start conversations
- Exchange contact info
- Have fun!
Within 24 Hours After:
- Send personal follow-up emails
- Connect on LinkedIn
- Schedule coffee with 1-2 people
Related Articles
Building your network? Check out these guides:
- Professional Networking for Dropouts - Complete networking strategy
- LinkedIn Networking Strategy - Online networking
- Informational Interviews - Have valuable conversations
- How to Find a Mentor - Build deeper relationships
The Bottom Line
Networking events don’t have to be awkward.
Keys to success:
- Prepare: Research event, practice intro, set goals
- Start conversations: Join groups, talk to solo people, ask questions
- Listen more than talk: 70/30 rule
- Exchange contact info: After 7-10 minutes of good conversation
- Follow up within 24 hours: Personal email, specific reference
Realistic expectations:
- 3-5 quality conversations = successful event
- 1-2 ongoing relationships = home run
- 10 shallow conversations = waste of time
Action plan:
- Attend 1-2 events per month
- Focus on quality over quantity
- Follow up consistently
- Build relationships over time
Don’t expect magic in one event. Networking is a long game.
Go to your first event this month. Have 3 conversations. Follow up. Repeat.
You’ve got this.
